It’s been a few months since my relationship crashed and burned, then exploded into a firey ball of manure… and I’m not that affected anymore. *shurg* Naturally, some days are easier than others but overall, I’m finally moving past it.
This time alone has afforded me the opportunity to look internally and put things into perspective. I’m 27 and all of my relationships have pretty much gone straight to hell (like straight to hell).
There was that one guy I dated for six months who was actually engaged the entire time… to someone else. Oh, and that other guy who got beat up and LITERALLY disappeared off the face of the earth… “uhhh, has anyone seen Justin??” And then there was the guy who actually turned out to be a modern day Valerio Viccei! (That’s a whole different story in itself.) Annnnnd, let us not forget about the string of guys I dated who “weren’t looking for a relationship” or who “just wanted to kick it” and “just wanted to enjoy each others company.” I’ve been in and out of relationships and pseudo relationships since 2002; I’m no math whiz but I’m pretty sure that equals 10 whole years of unproductive, unsuccessful MESS. Over it.
Its 2012 and something has to change! Being in and out of relationships and pseudo relationships is exhausting. I mean it when I say I can’t; I can not allow myself to deal with another. I’d rather spend my time doing something productive, like stalking natural hair youtube videos, painting my nails or spending hours on end on pinterest!
Truth be told, I’m actually happy for some “me time.” This is the first time it’s just been MISHAEL… just plain ol’ Mishael. There’s no “Mr. Yeah” on the side or someone I can snuggle or cuddle with when I’m feeling emo. There is no one; it’s really just me… and I kinda like it. It’s kind of like I’m getting to know me all over again, but the newer, older and wiser, more mature me.
I think I always viewed being single as a negative thing. In the past, I viewed being single as being alone and lonely and assumed that something must be wrong because you don’t have a man, but now I’ve changed my views. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being in a relationship but there’s EVERYTHING wrong with being in the WRONG relationship. Being in the wrong relationship is far worse than not being in a relationship at all. Trust me I know!
I’m single now but not ready to mingle just yet. I want to take my time in order to avoid getting in a wrong relationship again. I want to spend time with me, to cultivate, to learn and to understand myself and enjoy this “me time” to the fullest!
No…But really, has anyone seen Justin??? (Lol)