How does he REALLY feel about natural hair?

It seems like nowadays every other black woman has natural hair…  It’s like a natural hair movement… or is it more like a natural hair fad?  Is natural hair the cool thing to do these days? And how do men really feel about our natural tresses?

I wanted answers so I asked some of my male friends for their opinion. The guys I asked were between 22 and 44 years old; some are single, some are dating and some are married.

One of my male friends said straight up, “I don’t get natural hair. Why are you doing that?”

One of my favorite responses:

“I love natural hair.  I believe for black women, having natural hair goes against the Eurocentric belief that straight hair is the standard of beauty.  On the other side, I believe the challenge for women with natural hair is understanding their hair.”

Another response that like:

“I find myself attracted to beauty and for me that’s natural hair and curly hair and straight hair.  I think at the end of the day a woman’s hair plays an extremely small role in whether she’s attractive or not.

Here are the other responses:

  • “It doesn’t matter to me as long as it’s not too short and it’s cute on her.  I’ve been really digging the ‘natural’ these days though, it gives me hope that you won’t come home with a lace front. Whether it’s natural or straight I’m going to want to play in it”
  •  “I like anything but weave. I hate weave with a passion. Weave scares me. I’m a touchy feely kind of guy and I hate touching a woman’s hair and feeling glue, staples, ropes, nails etc. Outside of weave it’s all about how a woman rocks her hairstyle.
  •  “I actually prefer natural. It lets me know that you enjoy taking care of your hair the natural way and not taking the easy way out.”
  •  “I prefer straight.” (lol he didn’t even attempt to engage in conversation about it.)

I think the majority of the men felt this way:

“I love y’all all… dated plenty of sistas with natural hair and locks.  As long as she got body.”

  •  “I don’t have a preference provided it’s not abubaka nappy and it fits the person.  Generally speaking if you like it, I love it.”
  • “I don’t care as long as you’re cute really.  I’ll pull natural, curly, weave, dreads and even rub a little baldy.”
  • “I don’t have a preference; I simply wish hair wasn’t such a big issue for black females.”
  •  “I prefer natural hair, straight hair, curly hair, long hair, short hair; as long as she look good, we can rock.”

So out of the 12 guys that I asked the general answer was that men are attracted to a woman who looks good, regardless of  her hairstyle. I can dig that. BUT (if I may) the amount of men that approach me now, with my hair in its natural state, is a lot lower. I’m just saying…

Below is the link to a youtube video where the gentleman suggested that women explain why they’re doing the whole natural hair thing because men don’t understand. Hmmm? Food for thought…

For me, my natural hair symbolizes knowledge and growth.  I’ve learned so much about myself and I’ve learned so much about my hair, and that knowledge has helped me grow in many different areas in my life.  That may seem trivial to some, but it’s the truth.  I’ve grown so much in these past 6 months that it’s kind of unreal.  It’s not always pretty, it’s not always easy and sometimes I get discouraged but I know that if I stay faithful and focused that in the end, it will all be worth it.  Well, I hold on to that hope anyway. I suppose only time will tell.



8 thoughts on “How does he REALLY feel about natural hair?

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    1. lol, nah, thats the same thing! I feel like in essence men say if you’re pretty then you’re pretty regardless of the hair but I also think you’re more inclined to be attracted to a woman with long flowing tresses…I could be wrong tho!!!

  1. Interesting. I get a lot of mixed reviews. A lot of my guy friends don’t like the “Afro” look but when I have it curly from like a Bantu knot out, they like it. My stock dropped way low when I first did my big chop :(. My brother used to call me nappy roots but now that my hair is longer, he’s not as mean. Smh.

    1. Girl, my stock dropped too lol!!! I thought I was the only one. I think guys just like hair on women!!! Even though I was in a relationship when I did the BC I did notice that I wasn’t getting as much “play” as I would before. Now that its a wee bit longer i’m halfway back in the game! lol

  2. I feel like WE (women) put more stock in hair than men do. Frankly, I think we put more into it than our Caucasian associates. Moving to the South with natural hair, working at a conservative law firm, my expectations were that my natural hair would become an issue. But, surprisingly, it’s been the exact opposite! One attorney in particular, tells me that he LOVES my hair and how versatile it is and that he gets bored seeing straight hair all the time.

    While I do think the natural hair trend is a bit of a fad, I think that it should become a lifestyle change. Why must I be looked at as radical for wearing my hair the way it grew out of my head and wearing it in its healthiest state?

    In response to your stock dropping, be honest with yourself. Do you really want to date a guy that would only give you the time of day cause of your hair?

    Like my husband says all the time, “I’d much rather your hair be natural and you be healthy and in shape, than you be sloppy and obese with a banging press.”


    1. Ok, I really just lol’d at your husbands statement! I absolutely think we as women focus a GREAT deal on our hair and it really shoudn’t be such a major issue. And I love the way you worded this –>”Why must I be looked at as radical for wearing my hair the way it grew out of my head”
      If a man only is giving me play b/c of the state of my hair then I think its pretty safe to say that the superficiality of the relationship will cause it to crash and burn, but I did notice a decline in the amount of male attention I recieve. I’m not at all complaining about that because I’m falling in love with me, the complete package. From my head to my toes, from the outward appearance right down to my core and I’m happy.
      Thanks for reading 🙂

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